Given what we鈥檝e been talking about, it comes as a surprise when Geoff Thompson declares: 鈥淚 feel blessed.鈥
He has just been pouring his heart out about a traumatic childhood event which damaged him for life.
The BAFTA-winning writer was sexually abused at 12 by his martial arts teacher.
It took him decades to talk about his ordeal, even longer to come to terms with it and to forgive his abuser, who committed suicide before a court hearing.
But now he has turned his experiences into semi-autobiographical dramas. His play Fragile, which features one man talking about his abuse, is being staged in Birmingham next month.
And plans are under way for a feature film, Romans, starring Ray Winstone.
Geoff, 53, is a writer and self-defence instructor who holds a black belt in karate.
He first found success with his autobiography Watch My Back, which charted his journey from a factory worker to one of Coventry鈥檚 most feared nightclub bouncers.
It was turned into the 2008 film Clubbed, starring Colin Salmon, Maxine Peake and Mel Raido, which was filmed in Coventry and Birmingham and set in violent 1980s clubland.
Geoff鈥檚 first short film, Bouncer, starred Ray Winstone and was nominated for a BAFTA. He picked up the award for his next script, Brown Paper Bag.
Geoff, from Binley, confides: 鈥淚 was sexually abused in a one-off incident. I was so traumatised by it, it had a massive effect on my life.
鈥淚 didn鈥檛 want to tell anyone because I didn鈥檛 want to bring shame to my door. I tried to tell a couple of people, who suggested it was all my fault, that I somehow led him on. That really confused me.
鈥淎fter that I kept my mouth shut, leading all the rage, hatred, guilt and shame to build up.
鈥淵ears later, I started writing about it in Watch My Back. I realised that it had caused me to be massively insecure, to give me a fear of abandonment and psychotic jealousy.
鈥淚 had to confront my fear, which is why I became a bouncer.
鈥淚 was encouraged to get a response from people who said it had helped them tackle their own abuse.
鈥淚 wrote the short film Romans 12:20, released in 2008, about a bouncer who confronts his abuser, a priest, and forgives him.
鈥淭he weird thing was that I wrote how the priest then commits suicide 鈥 and shortly afterwards I found out my abuser had hung himself.
鈥淭he police had decided there wasn鈥檛 enough conclusive evidence to bring charges. But then four or five other people came forward from the 1970s and he was about to be brought to court when he killed himself.
鈥淚 felt sadness and compassion when I heard. There is no excuse for what he did, but I don鈥檛 want anyone to be in pain.
鈥淚鈥檇 rather not name him as he still has family around and I don鈥檛 want to upset them.
鈥淟ike in Romans 12:20, I did manage to confront my abuser.
鈥淚 happened to find myself sitting next to him in a cafe. I was 42 but I immediately felt 12 again. I was very emotional and trembling.
鈥淢y first instinct was to run away, and then to hit him 鈥 I went through a period of wanting physical revenge, but I knew violence wasn鈥檛 the answer.
鈥淚 realised that to get him out of my mind, I had to forgive him. That doesn鈥檛 mean letting him off, but exorcising him from my mind and freeing myself.
鈥淚 told him 鈥業 want you to know, I forgive you鈥. He looked like a broken man. He put his hand out for me to shake and I did.
鈥淚 felt an overriding sense of love. It dissolved him, he completely lost all the power he had over me. I have found equanimity, I don鈥檛 have to live with the misery and I have a wonderful life now. I am married to the girl of my dreams, Sharon, and we have four children and four grandchildren.
鈥淚 am grateful for the path life took me on, as I wouldn鈥檛 be doing what I do now otherwise. I feel blessed.鈥
Romans 12:20 is the Biblical quotation: 鈥淚f your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.鈥
A production company plans to start filming the movie Romans in November.
Geoff says: 鈥淩ay Winstone, an old friend of mine, has agreed to play the lead. He loves the script and the challenging material.鈥
The stage play Fragile is much more pared down, an intense theatrical experience featuring just one man in a room.
It was first staged at the Belgrade Theatre in Coventry 18 months ago and now comes to the Old Joint Stock Theatre in Birmingham, before a three-week run in Edinburgh, starring Coventry actor Nigel Francis.
鈥淔ragile is about one man鈥檚 internal inquiry, sitting in a room talking to a tape recorder as he seeks closure,鈥 explains Geoff.
鈥淗e is so damaged that he doesn鈥檛 trust anyone, he can only talk to a tape.
鈥淚t鈥檚 very honest, moving and beautiful. I鈥檓 very proud of it. I wouldn鈥檛 call it a piece of entertainment 鈥 the Belgrade audiences were weeping 鈥 but I think it鈥檚 cleansing rather than traumatic.
鈥淢y aim now is to help other people begin the healing by talking about their experiences. It鈥檚 the things we keep secret that make us ill.鈥
Geoff is heartened by the recent spate of court cases involving historical rape and sexual assault, some alleged to go back 50 years. Celebrities such as Stuart Hall and Max Clifford have been convicted after several women came forward with their claims.
鈥淧eople should be brought to justice, everyone should have their day in court,鈥 says Geoff.
鈥淚f we want to free ourselves from past traumas, we have to forgive. Carrying anger is toxic. But forgiveness doesn鈥檛 meant letting them off. Abusers should pay for their offences.
鈥淚t鈥檚 good that people now feel able to come forward about what happened to them.
鈥淥ne brave person steps forward and that encourages others. I applaud anyone who has the courage to step up.鈥
* Fragile runs at the Old Joint Stock Theatre in Birmingham from June 5-7. For tickets ring 0121 200 0946 or go to .
