Birmingham residents can soon be the owners for free of the first major public work of art of The Teens – the second decade of the 21st century.
The title of the work is The Birmingham Dead Oak Ring and its starting price on the art market will be £1 million.
Decades, as you may know, do not really begin after the bells at midnight of a year ending in nine.
If, as Philip Larkin almost observed, The Sixties began between the end of the ‘Chatterley’ ban and The Beatles’ first LP, I will take the liberty to observe that The Teens were slower off the mark.
The Teens began between me finally buying a white Transit van in February 2013 and 海角视频IP’s triumph at this week’s European elections.
But back to The Birmingham Dead Oak Ring. The physical manifestation of this work of art is to be 16 dead oak trees standing in fields in a loose circle around the city.
These trees may have been standing in their fields for several hundred years.
But it is only this week, after I have observed and documented all 16 of them, will they become The Birmingham Dead Oak Ring. And only then will I decree them to be a work of art.
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I have also taken the liberty of proclaiming they will then protect the city from the threat of the countryside and, in turn, protect the countryside from the threat of the city. This all may sound like pompous codswallop, but hear me out.
If you happen to see a dead oak tree standing sentinel in the middle of a field, and if you have any sort of imagination, you cannot deny that it exudes a truly splendid aura. Then if you come across more of the same at various intervals the imagination begins to really get into gear.
But on finding 16 of these trees in a loose ring around the city you know you are into Tolkien territory.
I would like to say Birmingham was to have the first dead oak ring in the world, but last year I did a dummy run around a city, that will remain nameless, in the South-east.
However, Birmingham’s will be the first that can be owned by the people of the city it surrounds and not just owned by my imagination.
Now as much as I believe in art for all the people, I’m also a believer in the free market economy being the best way to oil the wheels of enterprise and progress.
So what follows is how I am going to propose people can take ownership of The Birmingham Dead Oak Ring.
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According to the 2011 census for Birmingham, there are 1,085,400 people living in the city. And for the purposes of simplicity and symmetry, I’m going to suggest that 85,400 people in the city are not interested in art or the free market economy. This leaves us with one million who are.
The people who are going to own this work of art will not own the mere physical trees or the land they stand on.
What they will own is the combined souls of the trees and the powers they exert.
As with all works of art from the first scribbles of a toddler to the Mona Lisa, it is not the actual piece of paper or the canvas that is the art, but the soul and aura of the thing. As with the paper and canvas, the trees and the land they grow on are just the vessels that transmit the power of the art.
For this read urinal, unmade bed etc. And as such they are not worth trading.
From this Saturday, as part of my ongoing exhibition at Eastside Projects, the location of all 16 of the trees will be marked on a map of the West Midlands, on the wall of the gallery. There will also be photographs of each of the trees. I should add that I have already located and documented six of the trees, the remaining 10 I have to find over the next three days.
One million share certificates are being printed, each one valued at £1.
If you live in Birmingham, visit the gallery and providing you have proof of residency, you will be given for free your share certificate, signed and dated by myself. This offer stands until the end of my exhibition’s run on June 14. At that point all unclaimed share certificates will be destroyed.
It will be then you can start trading your share on the open market, be that eBay or the international art market. Or retain ownership of them to pass on down to your children’s, children’s children.
I would say this has got to be worth a punt: it costs you nothing and you will be supporting the cause of art for all and helping to oil the wheels of enterprise and progress. But as any financial advisor would remind you, the value of shares can fall as well as rise.
And as usual all points raised in the above column are up for discussion at this Saturday’s Knit and Natter session (2pm-4pm) at Eastside Projects.
• UPDATE: Here's a gallery of all 16 trees in the Dead Oak Ring for Birmingham. All photos by Tracey Moberly
• Bill Drummond is for The Birmingham Post as part of his To view his previous columns visit