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Opinionopinion

Why all is unequal in electoral love and war

Some votes are more equal than others in the British political system.

A polling station(Image: AP Photo/Lehtikuva, Mikko Stig)

Among the curiosities that most fascinate overseas visitors to Parliament are whipping, pairing, and the pairing whips who oversee the whole salacious-sounding business.

Once the giggling and predictable spanking and bondage jokes have died down, you explain that whips are indeed their parties’ disciplinarians. They are responsible, as in hunting, for ‘whipping-in’ any straying MPs (hounds) and ensuring they vote when and how the party tells them.

And pairing whips police the convention whereby two MPs from opposing parties agree, where one member can’t attend due to more pressing commitments, to abstain on a usually uncontroversial vote. No matter how many pairs are registered and abstentions recorded, the Government’s numerical majority is unaffected.

It seems to me the pairing mentality – never mind the turnout, it’s the result that counts – is so embedded in MPs’ psyches that party leaders and strategists are now applying it to us.

So what, their reasoning goes, if at next May’s General Election, barely 80 per cent of electors are registered, only 60 per cent of those registered turn out, and, as last Thursday, only 30 per cent of them vote for us? If that 15 per cent of the potential electorate makes us the biggest party – better still, gives us a majority – that’s just dandy. Target and love-bomb that one citizen in seven, and we can forget the rest, Ukippers included.

Of course, that’s not exactly what the parties were saying publicly last weekend. Instead, it was all about being in listening mode and, above all, respecting the voters – ‘respect’ as explained in the Anglo-EU Translation Guide: when the British say “With the greatest respect”, they mean “I think you’re an idiot”, but hope you’ll hear “He’s listening to me”.

Even so, the main parties’ underlying thinking was unmissable in some of their belittling of º£½ÇÊÓÆµIP’s local elections achievement – winning, notwithstanding an electoral system hugely disadvantageous to small and minor parties, the national equivalent of nearly one in five votes overall, and one in four in seats where they had candidates.

Listen! (as all media-prepped interviewees start nowadays). These were locals – low turnout elections. º£½ÇÊÓÆµIP’s vote share was down on last year; they’ve still only 2 per cent of councillors, none in most London boroughs, major towns and cities, and, of course, none in Birmingham and Coventry; and they’re nowhere near controlling any councils.